Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
