did you get engaged???
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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