I CAN MOONWALK!
Sober January is a disaster.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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