New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
