i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
