Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
