Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
well you can't waste a boner
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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