pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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