ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
that is very illegal...i love you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize