Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
