How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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