KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize