...so i touched it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
