i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My ass is underappreciated
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
