I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
