there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
