Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
