fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's never too late to be topless.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
