I'm so fucking centered right now
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
