hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
