Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Sober January is a disaster.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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