Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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