why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
there was a trapeze. enough said
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
