i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
