it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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