So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize