is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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