I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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