i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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