from now on my penis is your penis
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Randomize
