I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it glows. i had to have it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
