before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize