Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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