Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
the liver wants what the liver wants
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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