everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize