Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
