Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
