So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
