rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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