just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
