its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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