If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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