she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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