the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize