My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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