i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
