i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
