So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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