D3 body, D1 cock
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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