I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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