At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Randomize
