You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Never joke about your clitoris.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
