I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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