So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
