Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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