Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
