And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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