haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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