In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
