You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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