I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize