I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
