I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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