Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
