hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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