omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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