well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
